A Charles Band-produced Frankenfilm!

Savage Island (aka "Banished Women" and "Prison Island") (1985)
Starring: Anthony Steffan, Ajita Wilson, Stelio Candelli, Christina Lai, Luciano Rossi, Linda Blair, Leon Askin, and Penn Jillette
Directors: Edoardo Mulargia and Nicholas Beardsley
Producer: Charles Band (as Roger Amante) and Mark Alabiso
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

An escapee from a hellish work camp (Blair), where enslaved women mine emeralds, holds its owner (Askin) at gunpoint while she relates the tale of how her allies (Steffan and Wilson) infiltrated the facility and destroyed it.



"Savage Island" is a Frankenfilm in the grand tradition of so many Godfrey Ho-assembled ninja pictures. It's made with pieces from a pair of commercially-failed South American women-in-jungle-hell-prison movies, "Hotel Paradise" and "Escape From Hell", sandwiched between footage featuring Linda Blair and a vengeful she-demon in a cheap fur coat, and kinda-sorta glued together with narration from Blair.

Unlike many Frankenfilm's this one benefits from the fact that three actors (Anthony Steffan, Ajita Wilson, and Christina Lay) are featuring prominently in both the original films, playing largely similar roles in each. The same is true of several of the supporting cast members. Further, both films were directed by the same man, and set in nearly identical locations, so the "meanwhile, in a different movie" sensation that so often creeps into Frankenfilms--where locations and tone and focus characters change back and forth--this one comes across as, more or less, a unified whole.

That's not to say that whole isn't a mess. To start with, the pieces from which "Savage Island" is assembled came from films with highly illogical plots that feature characters going through the motions to make sure all the standard elements of a "women in jungle prison" exploitation flick get included; character actions are dictated more by plot and genre needs than anything that even comes close to sense. Combining the two films--one about revolutionaries infiltrating a diamond mine worked by enslaved women, and one where the abused prisoner's in a women's prison convince the prison doctor to help them stage an escape-- while adding the third element of Linda Blair "masterminding" a jewel heist didn't improve matters at all.

Further, while it appears characters remain present throughout the film, they only do so with some bizarre continuity glitches. Anthony Steffan switches back and forth between outfits with no apparent rhyme or reason, and Ajita Wilson's hair gets longer and shorter and longer between scenes. I also think the same supporting actress was murdered by angry prisoners twice.

In the end, as Frankenfilms go, this isn't a bad attempt. In fact, it probably ranks among the better of its kind. However, it might not be worth going out of your way for, unless you're a big lover of cheesy jungle films, or a huge fan of Anthony Steffan or Ajita Wilson--although in the case of the latter, you'd be disappointed because her assets are nowhere near as fully on display here as in other films she's been in. Fans of Penn and Teller might also be curious to witness the first film appearance (and on-screen death) of Penn Jillette.







(Full disclosure: This review is based on a screener copy of the film given to me by Full Moon Pictures.)

The original Harry Potter vs the Magical World

Troll (1986)
Starring: Noah Hathaway, Michael Moriarty, Phil Fondacaro, June Lockhart, Anne Lockhart, Julia Louis-Dreyfuss and Sonny Bono
Director: John Carl Buechler
Producers: Albert Band and Charles Band
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

Teenaged Harry Potter Jr. (Hathaway) and his eccentric family move to a new city, but even before the boy has a chance to make new friends, an evil, shapeshifting Troll-king (Fondacaro) begins to transform the apartment building, unit by unit, into a replica of the world as it existed when fairies reigned supreme. Harry is called upon by an ancient sorceress and fairy princess (June Lockhart/Anne Lockhart) who has been waiting for this crisis to arrive to save not only his family but the entire modern world.

"Troll" is often described as a horror/comedy, but I think it's best described as one of the best fantasy films ever made. While there certainly are a few scary scenes, it's far more fantasy and fairy tale oriented than it is a horror film.

While the film is great fun and is decently enough acted and written, it does sport some pretty bad puppets and even worse special effects, even by the standards of the early 1980s. However, the humor and fast pace more than make up for these shortcomings. (As does the sequence where the fairy creature puppets sing a nonsense song that's both funny and creepy.)

Funny, suspenseful, magical, I think this is a fantasy film the whole family can enjoy.

By the way, Harry Potter and Harry Potter Jr. (portrayed by Moriarty and Hathaway respectively) in this film are the original Harry Potters. One wonders if Rowlings didn't "accidentally" take the name from this film, given that it's a story of secret magic in modern times.

Day of the Turkey Review: Necropolis

Necropolis (1987)
Starring: LeeAnne Baker, Jacquie Fitz, Andrew Bausili, and Michael Conte
Director: Bruce Hickey
Producers: Tim Kincaid, Cynthia De Paula, and Charles Band
Rating: One of Ten Stars

A witch (Baker) executed with her coven before she could complete a ritual to gain immortality, is reincarnated in modern times and returns to her old haunts--New York City, which stands where once New Amsterdam was--and sets about resurrecting the members of her old coven by sucking the souls out of pimps, hookers, and random trashy people. She also intends to complete the ritual to make herself and her coven immortal by finally sacrificing the soul she had targeted centuries earlier, which has also been reincarnated in modern times as a journalist (Fitz).

"Necropolis" is a schlocky, amateurish horror film originally released through Charles Band's Empire Pictures... and it has been dredged up from the dim past for release as one of the initial offerings in Full Moon's "Grindhouse" DVD series.

For that, it is perfect. This is the sort of garbage movie that represents the level of quality that most of those drive-in and B-movies embodied. It's got an illogical, badly paced script, atrocious acting, and pathetic special effects. But as a movie that's worth your time and money? I would say not.

That's not to say there isn't a sort of rough charm about it. It was also interesting enough to keep me watching in an effort to make sense of what the reincarnated witch was up to, why she was going about it the way she was, and why she remembered that she was reincarnated but no one else knew. And I also wanted to find out how she knew that the soul she was after was in New York City. I never did get any of those answers, but I was treated to the silliest witch dance this side of the improv jazz ballet featured in "The Witch's Mountain".



If you've got friends that like mocking films as they unfold, this might be worth checking out. Otherwise, I think this might be a film to skip. (That said, the DVD does feature some interesting bonus material, such as an interview with Charles Band discussing the hows and whys of his "Full Moon Grindhouse" series, and a handful of short films.)

Dolls that play deadly games

Dolls (1987)
Starring: Carrie Lorraine, Stephen Lee, Ian Patrick Williams, Guy Rolfe, Carolyn Purdy-Gordon, Hilary Mason, Bunty Baily and Cassie Stuart
Director: Stuart Gordon
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars
Producers: Brian Yunza and Charles Band

Stranded travelers spend the night in an old mansion inhabited by an elderly couple (Mason and Rolfe) and their magical dolls... dolls that don't take kindly to abusive adults or house-guests that behave badly.


"Dolls" is a comedy/horror flick that has the feel of a fairy tale. In fact, there are seveal sceens and shots that echo fairy tales fairly directly, such as the shot of an elderly woman stirring a pot of stew that makes her look like she's a witch stirring a cauldron, and this atmosphere makes the movie that much more interesting viewing.

The fairy tale feel is perhaps not all that surprising, as it's from the writer who did the script had just finished "Troll" (review here) for B-movie mogul Charles Band, who was also the producer of this picture. This film is a little gorier than "Troll", but if you liked that film, you're bound to like this picture as well.

The film has other classic qualities about it. The setting feels like the manor houses that were the settings for numerous mysteries from the 1930s and 1940s of the subgenre that get's referred to as "dark old house movies". The pacing of the story and the "just rewards" given to the characters in the course of the story have a "Tales From the Crypt" or "House of Mystery" feel to them that makes the film even more fun to watch.

At the same time, the film also ends up being groundbreaking. If not for this film, "Puppet Master" might never have come into being, as much of what goes on here feels like a rough draft for that movie and franchise. (There's even a bit from here that is echoed in the "Puppet Master" films but not surpassed and that's the surprising appearance of filmdom's most unusual firing squad.)

The film is artfully shot and edited, features an excellent score and has a cast of actors that are all perfect in their parts. Comic actor Stephen Lee has a nice turn as a man whose childlike wonder and innocence protects him from the rampaging killer dolls; veteran British character actors Guy Rolfe and Hilary Mason are great as the elderly masters of the dark old house; and the rest of the cast present characters so obnoxious that you can't wait to see them get bumped off. Even child actor Carrie Lorraine is far better than most children her age. It's a shame she quit acting after this film.

If you're a fan of "Troll" or of the output of Empire Pictures and Full Moon pictures from the 1980s and 1990s, this is a movie for you. It's definately a movie you can't go wrong with if you included in the selection for a Bad Movie Night. It might even be a film for the entire family if you have teenagers in the house, although I think youger kids might be freaked out by the killer toys and the intense creepiness of certain part of the film.

'The Alchemist' is so-so early effort of Band

The Alchemist (1986)
Starring: Lucinda Dooling, John Sanderford, Robert Ginty, Robert Glaudini and Viola Kates Stimpson
Producers: Charles Band, Lawrence Applebaum, Billy Fine and Jay Schultz
Director: James Amante (aka Charles Band)
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

When a farmer (Ginty) sets out to rescue his wife from an evil sorcerer (Glaudini), she ends up dead and he ends up cursed with immortality and occassional transformation into a monster. Nearly a century later, the reincarnation of his long-dead love (Dooling) and a hitchhiker at the wrong place at the wrong time (Sanderford) are drawn into a final showdown between farmer, sorcerer and a gaggle of demons.


An early effort from Charles Band this is a film that's hit and miss in the quality department... with more misses than hits, I'm sorry to say. Nonetheless, the film is a great example of how Band used to be able to create a suitably eerie atmosphere and make the most of his low budgets, an ability that seems to have left him in recent years, both as a director and a producter. There are still enough glimmers of the old Band that I hope a new Full Moon will rise, but it's been about a decade since he's even been as good as what we have in this film.

The film's biggest drawback is its slow-moving plot that's made even slower by obvious padding and by one of the clearest displays of Stupid Character Syndrom ever put on screen. (Lucinda Dooling keeps wigging out at the wheel of the car and almost crashing several times, yet hitchhiker John Sanderford keeps getting back in the car with her. Why? Well, because if he didn't, the film would be over. Once would have been enough to establish the gradual reawakening of the reincarnated soul, but Band and the writers drives the point home over and over to stretch the film to meet a minimum running length.)

Still, when the film gets going and the monsters start popping up and dimensional portals are opened thanks to cheap special effects, that old time Charles Band Magic is in full effect and we have a film that ends on a note far higher than everthing that led up to it indicated.

Everything except the acting that is. For the most part, the film's cast does an excellent job with what they have to work with. Ginty in particular does an excellent job as the emotionally tortured immortal, while Stimpson manages to effectively convey the fatigue of a woman who has spent her entire life tending to a sick family member. Dooling and Sandford are rather bland, but I can't blame the actors as their parts are written that way.

In final analysis, though, this film is really only for the Full Moon/Charles Band completists like myself. The rest of you are better off looking at the movies filed under the "High Rating" tag on this blog.

Weird Science brings sexual perversion 'From Beyond'

From Beyond (1986)
Starring: Jeffrey Combs, Barbara Crampton, Ken Foree, Ted Sorel and Carolyn Purdy-Gordon
Director: Stuart Gordon
Producers: Brian Yunza and Charles Band
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

A pair of physicists (Combs and Sorel) create a machine that causes our dimension to merge with another. They end up unleashing horrors--and sexual perversion--unlike any our world has ever seen before.


"From Beyond" is one of those gory, goopy movies that you do NOT want to watch while eating. If you like fast-paced monster movies with a high quotient of mad doctors--there is only one out of the five major characters who isn't a doctor who is unhinged in some fashion--and you don't mind sexually-themed horror, then you'll enjoy the heck out of this movie.

With excellent special effects--particularly during the final battle against the monstrous creature from beyond--and great performances by all the actors, this movie is a fun ride. Although only the first few minutes of the film is actually based on H.P. Lovecraft's story of the same title, Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton both capture the obsession and the madness that was a hallmark of many of his characters and stories. Further, the creatures and the entire style of the movie evokes the atmosphere of Lovecraft's writings. Even better, the film provides some great laughs to offset the terror, with Ken Foree (best-known for his role in the original "Dawn of the Dead") serving double-duty as comic relief and Macho Action Hero and succeeding equally well at both.

"From Beyond" is an excellent movie to show at a Halloween party where adults or older teens make up those in attendence. If you want to get a copy to show, make sure you get the unrrated DVD director's cut, because it features some really cool scenes that were cut to earn it an R rating during its original release--such the scene where Dr. Bloch (Carolyn Purdy-Gordon) has her brain sucked out through her eye-socket and some of the bits of a tentacle-beast from Dimension Lovecraft getting to know Dr. Katherine McMichaels really well.

Double Feature: Puppet Master and Puppet Master 2

Puppet Master (1989)
Starring: Paul Le Mat, Robin Frates, Irene Miracle, Barbara Crampton, Kathryn O'Reilly, Matt Roe and William Hickey
Director: David Schmoeller
Producers: Charles Band and Hope Perello
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

After their friend commits suicide following his discover of a supernatural secret possessed by WW2-era puppeteer and toymaker Andre Toulon (Hickey). four psychics travel to the mansion he killed himself in to investigate. They soon regret launching their investigation, as Toulon's greatest creations--a group of singularly twisted dolls--come to life in order to stalk and kill them in gory ways.


There are some films that one should allow to live in memory. For me, "Puppet Master" is one of those. I first saw this movie in 1990 or so, and I remembered the general story, and the cool stop-motion killer puppets. However, I had absolutely no memory of how awful the acting is, nor how bad much of the dialogue is.

This is probably still one of the best movies to ever emerge from Full Moon Entertainment, and while that may sound like I'm damning with faint praise, I'm not intending to do so. The stop-motion photography and the design of the very creepy killer toys in the film are top-notch, as is the use of sound throughout the film (especially where the toys are concerned). Leech Woman is every bit as disturbing as a I remembered!

Aside from the puppets, the only other thing that works here is the villain (whose nature I won't comment on for fear of ruining the film for those who may not have seen it). He is a truly monstrous character and the final act of the film, where he is revealed along with the full monstrousness of his actions--making the killer puppets look like the toys they are by comparison--is some of the very best movie making that Charles Band has ever presided over.

Although crippled by the bad acting, the creativity of the story and the deadly toys go a long way to making up for that shortcoming. The stop-motion animation is extremely well done, and it's worth seeing this creepy movie for that alone.





Puppet Master II (1991)
Starring: Elizabeth Maclellan, Charlie Spradling, Jeff Celentano, Collin Bernsen, Steve Welles, and Gregory Webb
Director: Dave Allen
Producers: Charles Band, David DeCoteau and John Schouweiler
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

Paranormal researchers (Celentano, Maclellan, Spradling, and Webb) charged with figuring out what drove the sole surviving psychic from the first "Puppet Master" movie insane discover that not only do Andre Toulon's living puppets haunt the old hotel on Bodega Bay, but Toulon himself (Welles) has returned from the dead!


"Puppet Master II" is a creepy and atmospheric direct sequel to the first "Puppet Master" film, but it is also one of the weakest entries in the entire series. It's fairly poorly acted, it's got an illogical script--yes, even taking into account that it's a movie about killer puppets--and Toulon and his puppets are out of character when taking into account the original film and other sequels into account.

Every other "Puppet Master" movie I've seen but this one shows that Andre Toulon was a fairly decent guy who perhaps loved his creations more than he did himself. That is not the Andre Toulon we have here. What we have here is a twisted maniac who makes the villain from the first movie look like a saint. The puppets are also out of character, in-so-far-as they are doing evil for the sake of doing evil, something which they've not done in any of the other "Puppet Master" films I've seen. Worse, the behavior of the puppets doesn't even make sense in the context of this film alone. (Without spoiling too much, I can reveal that the puppets are helping Toulon and doing what they do in order to secure a recharge of magic to keep themselves going. They ultimately turn on their creator when they discover that they're not going to get what they want... but they should have turned on him long before. If there isn't much "magic juice" available, what's Toulon doing making a new puppet?)

And the puppets aren't the only ones behaving in illogical fashion because if they did things that made sense, the film would come to a screeching halt. Early in the film, the researchers get one of the puppets on video tape just before it murders one of their numbers. Another member of the team had already mysteriously vanished. These are researchers hired by the federal government to check out the place, but do they call upon the resources that implies? Do they even contact the local cops? Even after some freakish guy they think might be dangerous appears and claims to own the hotel? Nope, because this script is so badly thought out that EVERYONE (even magic puppets) has to exhibit Stupid Character Syndrome or the story simply won't work.

The film is further weakened by the fact that the Bodega Bay Inn as featured here doesn't look at all like the interiors of the Bodega Bay Inn from "Puppet Master". The filmmakers took enough care to give the impression that the characters here were seen mostly in a different part of the hotel, but why were the rooms and the hallways leading to them so much smaller and cheaper looking? This is especially evident in the room that is destroyed by the new flame-throwing puppet Torch.

Speaking of Torch, the film is at its best during the scenes involving this new addition to the Toulon menagerie--a puppet dressed like a Prussian officer that shoots gouts of fire that incinerates anything in his path. And I think that's the main problem with this film. Full Moon head-honcho Charles Band has never made any bones about the fact that he is looking for merchandising synergies with the movies he produces. He wants to sell dolls and resin models and other knickknacks based on the films, so a new puppet means a new piece of merchandise to sell. I don't begrudge him that, but I wish more care had been taken with the rest of the movie and the characters within it.

"Puppet Master II" has some neat moments, and it's got more spookiness in it than other films in the series, save the original, but it is an odd-man out among them. I think all but the biggest fans can safely skip it.

'Re-Animator': Fun with severed body parts

Re-Animator (1985)
Jeffrey Combs, Bruce Abbott, Barbara Crampton, David Gale and Robert Sampson
Director: Stuart Gordon
Producer: Brian Yunza and Charles Band
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

Dan's new roommate and fellow third-year med student, Herbert West (Combs) draws him into his bizarre (and successful) experiments with re-animating dead bodies.


"Re-Animator" is one of the craziest movies ever made, and it ranks up there with "Dead Alive" as one of the funniest creepy movies ever made. While it is nowhere near as gory as "Dead Alive" and the slapstick isn't quite as sharp, it features a cleverer script and a superior cast.

Jeffrey Combs is particularly excellent as Herbert West. We get the sense that he's a bit weird early in the film and highly strung; Combs performance puts the viewer in mind of Peter Cushing's Victor Frankenstein in the first couple of Hammer Frankenstein films... coldblooded, arrogant and probably sociopathic but not necessarily completely bonkers. When West calmly a bone saw through the chest of a zombie and then immediately sets about reanimating its recently deceased victim, it's clear not just from his actions but from Combs performance that he more than a little off. And when he later animates the severed head of an obnoxious rival (likewise brilliantly played by David Gale), it's clear that he is completely unhinged.

Speaking of the severed head, it gives rise to some of the most unnerving moments in the film, as well some of the funniest. I don't want to go into too much details, because I'd ruin the shock value. Suffice to say, it's something that needs to be seen.

Credit also needs to be go to Bruce Abbott and Barbara Crampton. While Combs and Gale are giving performances that seem like they just teleported in from a Hammer Films set in 1960, they play their characters mostly low-key. This, combined with the fact that their characters are nice and normal people, give the audience someone to identify with as the film unfolds and provide an island of calm in the middle of the evermore turbulent sea of madness that is this movie.

"Re-Animator" elevates Herbert West among the great movie mad doctors, even if, according to the very informative interview included on the Anchor Bay edition of the film, he was actually a minor character in the script and through most of the filming. It wasn't until "Re-Animator" was crafted into a releasable movie that the emphasis shifted to Herbert. (Comments in the interviews on the DVD even make me wonder if the filmmakers knew they were making a comedy until late in the process....)

Whether intentional or accidental art, this is one of those movies that gets everything right, from the mood-setting prologue, through its score (which spoofs Bernard Hermann's famous music for "Psycho") to its chilling end. It's also feels as fresh as when it first released in 1985. This is one of those very rare horror movies that actually deserves the label "classic."

If you are inclined to add this film to your personal library, make sure you get the limited edition "unrated" version from Anchor Bay. The cut presented there may be shorter than the R-rated version, but the humor and shocks are more outrageous than its tamer and slightly bloated counterpart. The disc full of extras is also something that you'll find extremely interesting if you have any interest at all in the filmmaking process. (The same is true of the commentary tracks.)

Happy Birthday, Mr. Poe!

Jan. 19 is the birthday of one of America's greatest writers, Edgar Allan Poe. In celebration, here's a review of a great movie based on one of his most famous stories.

Pit and the Pendulum (aka "The Inquisitor") (1991)
Starring: Rona De Ricci, Lance Henriksen, Jonathan Fuller, Mark Margolis, Frances Bay, Jeffrey Combs, Stephen Lee, and William J. Norris
Director: Stuart Gordon
Producer: Charles Band
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

When the beauty of a pure-hearted baker's wife (De Ricci) stirs passion in the dark heart and twisted body of the fanatical leader of the Spanish Inquisition Torquemada (Henriksen), he decrees that she must be a witch and orders her imprisoned and tortured. When her husband attempts to rescue her from Torquemada's dungeon, he too is imprisoned... and chosen to be the first victim of the Inquisition's latest torture instrument--the Pit & the Pendulum.


"The Pit and the Pendulum" is the best movie from a Charles Band company that I've seen. Filmed on location in a real southern European fortress, featuring great sets, excellent period costumes, and a suspenseful script with spectacular dialogue delivered by actors who are all giving some of greatest performances of their careers, it should be counted among the great horror movies of all time. It definitely does not deserve the obscurity it has slipped into.

There isn't a bad performance in the entire film, but . Lance Henriksen is partciularly remarkable as Torquemada, playing him more as a person who is insane rather than evil--the evil ones are those around him, as they're not motivated by insanity and religious fervor but for the most part merely sadistic and powerhungry, Rona De Ricci is also great in the role of Maria, especially in a scene toward the end of the movie that I can't mention, because it would spoil some major plot developments. She does such a great job in this film that I feel it's a tremendous shame she only appeared in it and one other film.

"Pit and the Pendulum" is, like so many other movies based of Poe's writings, is far from an exact adaptation of the story it is based on. Further, the filmmakers threw in references to other Poe works, such as such as "The Cask of Amontillado" and "The Fall of the House of Usher". However, it's one of the adaptations that best captures the mood of Poe's writings, and it sports numerous plot developments that you won't see coming.

This is a scary and exciting movie that I recommend highly.






Click here to read the original story, as well as other tales by Poe, at my Classic Fiction Archive.

Everyone gets failing grade at 'Cemetery High'

Cemetery High (aka "Scumbusters")
Starring: Debi Theibeault, Karen Nielsen, Ruth Collins, Lisa Schmidt, Simone, Frank Stewart, Tony Cruck and David Coughlin
Rating: One of Ten Stars
Producers: Gorman Bechard, Kristine Covello and Charles Band

A group of young rape victims go on a murderous rampage, killing scummy men whereever they can find them.


"Cemetery High" is a badly mounted attempt at spoofing revenge flicks like "Death Wish" and any crime drama you care to mention. However, it's badly written, even worse acted, and the best of the gags will tease only the mildest of chuckles out of even the drunkest viewers.

Toss this film on the pile of movies that never should have made the transition to DVD and start the incinerator. But don't waste your time watching it.

The Trancers Trilogy

One of the better-known creations to issue forth from the Full Moon movie mill is the Trancer series. With six installments so far, it's a series that started out as a time-travel themed sci-fi/pulp action effort that veered into fantasy territory after the first three, and then tried to recapture its sci-fi roots with the sixth, and so far final, installment in the series.

I'm a sucker for time travel stories, so the first three Trancer films rank among my very favorite of the Full Moon movies (even if the original "Trancers" film technically pre-dates Band's creation of the Full Moon label). It's also a fact that the first three are pretty decent films all around. They form a nice trilogy, and the films that follow really don't compare to them, story-wise or quality-wise.



Trancers (aka "Future Cop") (1985)
Starring: Tim Thomerson, Helen Hunt and Michael Stefani
Director: Charles Band
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

Just as the toughest cop in Angel City of 2247, Jack Deth (Thomerson) wipes out the last diciple of Whistler (Stefani), a powerful psychic and cult-leader who turned his followers into homicidal zombies, he learns that Whistler has fled some 250 years into the past... to 1985 where he is hunting and killing the ancestors of those who thwarted his plans of domination. Whistler plans to change history and only Jack Deth can stop him by following him back into the past, and do what he does best: Hunt trancers.


"Trancers" is a fun sci-fi flick that should be counted among Band's finest efforts. classics. It doesn't have any of the weird puppets and miniatures that would soon become hallmarks of Band's films, but it has a well-crafted script with lots of creative ideas and a plot that zips along at a lightning-fast pace yet still leaves time for character development that adds depth to the proceedings, and his other trademark--a mix of slightly off-kilter humor that's tinged with horror.

The success of the film is also, naturally, due in no small part to excellent performances by Tim Thomerson and Helen Hunt, who both take their first turn as stars in this picture. Thomerson is great as the hardboiled future cop who finds himself out of his element and forced to rely on help from Hunt's character, a liberated woman who had just wrapped up a one-night stand with the ancestor whose body Jack Deth's consciousness ends up inhabiting. Hunt is equally excellent asthe strong-willed Lena who won't be told what to do by anyone. While Thomerson is every bit the leading man as a fullblown movie star, his roots as a stand-up comedian and character actor stands him in good stead as he forms what is first an uneasy partnership with Hunt's character. Hunt's comedic timing that would help make "Mad About You" such a successful series is also on full display here, even as she comfortably fits into the role of an action-adventure sci-fi movie sidekick.

With everything else it has going for it, we can add the fact that it's a time travel movie to the mix. I love time-travel stories, and I think this one is particularly fun as it has an unusual method of time travel--minds/consciences can be sent back in time to inhabit the physical forms of direct ancestors. Some of the other theories of time travel are a bit shakey, but it all makes sense on the comic-book universe level that the film's world exists on.

"Trancers" is an entertaining little film that sees its stars and its director doing some of their most interesting work. It's worth checking out if you're in the mood for some light, spirited sci-fi action.




Trancers II: The Return of Jack Deth (aka "Future Cop II") (1991)
Starring: Tim Thomerson, Megan Ward, Helen Hunt, Biff Manard, Sonny Carl Davis, Richard Lynch, Martine Beswick, and Jeffrey Combs
Director: Charles Band
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Stranded in the 20th century, time-traveler Jack Deth (Thomerson) has made a new life for himself and married a lovely, strongwiled woman named Lena (Hunt)... which will some day make Jack his own great- great- great-grandfather. His new peaceful life is thrown into chaos when another time traveler returns to the past, hunting a villain from the future who is using an environmental action group as a front for creating deadly, zombie-like supersoldiers known as Trancers. This time traveler happens to be Jack's wife from the future (Ward), who had been dead for several years when he was sent into the past.


The main thrust of "Trancers II" is a fairly run-of-the-mill low-budget action film with a few sci-fi trappings that sees Jack Deth fighting and ultimately defeating a hoard of zombie-fied bad guys led by Dr. Wardo, another time traveler from Jack's original time period. It's not a bad story, but it's a somewhat predictable retread of the story from the first movie.

The film, however, is very interesting if you like time travel adventures, because of the tangled histories of two characters--they are present at the same point 300 years in their past, but one is seven years ahead of the other in their personal timelines and he knows the other characters future. He knows that she is actually already dead and that when she goes home, she will be murdered by trancer cultists. This wrinkle adds much to the film and makes the akward situation Jack is in of having to deal with two different wives--one of whom he can't tell that he remarried because he's actually a widower--a very interesting one. Jack's marital problems are played mostly for laughs in the film, but the details that brought it about are both fascinating and tragic.

The film is further helped by decent acting all around,even if the dialogue they actors are delivering could have used some more work. Poor Megan Ward in particular delivers from pretty awful lines. The final battle also lacks a bit of punch, and Jack seems a little too eager to gun people down. If killing the wrong person changes the future, shouldn't he be more careful about who he kills? It's one thing for him to kill Trancers--they're already dead--but what about the security guards he shoots? Dr. Wardo's assistants? The body Dr. Wardo's spirit was inhabiting? He kills all these peoples, and, based on the rules of time travel the film set up, he probably did all sorts of damage to the time line.

Despite some sloppy scripting, the film is still interesting and worthwhile. Its social satire has even held up well over time and perhaps even gained more of an edge. The main villain is very Al Gore lie, and his whole organization is very reminicent of the face the modern ecological movement presents to the world. (It may be a little cult-like. If you've ever been annoyed by the hyperbolic idiocy that issues forth from the mouth of "leading environmentalists" or hypocrites like Al Gore, then Green World and its agents might amuse you.



Trancers III: Deth Lives (aka "Future Cop III") (1992)
Starring: Tim Thomerson, Melanie Smith, Andrew Robinson, Tony Pierce, Megan Ward, Helen Hunt, Stephen Macht and Dawn Ann Billings
Director: C. Courtney Joyner
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

When an unstoppable army of Trancers threatens to destroy civilization in the 23rd century, stranded time traveler Jack Deth (Thomerson) is ripped from the life he is attempting to build in 1992 and sent to 2005 to change history and stop the Trancers from even coming into existence in the first place. This mission is going to be trickier than Trancer hunt Jack has ever undertaken, as he discovers the origin of the Trancers can be traced to a top secret installation opeated by the United States Marine Corps.


"Trancers III" is darker in tone and it feels like it was shot on an even lower budget than the first two installments of the film; we don't see the Trancers dissolve after they've been killed, for example. It's also the first installment that wasn't directed by Charles Band, but instead saw its screenwriter C. Courtney Joyner also taking on the directorial duties.

These changes could possibly have added up to an inferior film, but they didn't. "Trancers III" has a more cohereent storyline than "Trancers II" and it was the first first entry in the series that wasn't directed by Charles Band himself, and the darker tone makes it feel like the stakes are higher than they've ever been before. The only humor present in this film are Jack Deth's hardboiled detective-style wisecracks and narration but they're as sharp here as they've ever been.

While the film continues to play with the notion of tangled and confused timelines that was introduced in "Trancers II", it ultimately fails to take full advantage of these concepts, doesn't provide as strong an ending as it might have had, and even undermines the time travel rules that had established the series in the first place due to what I am certain is Charles Band's desire to keep the door open for more sequels.

The mission Jack Deth undertakes in this film is to stop the Trancers before they even become a threat in the future. I doubt I'm spoiling anything by telling you that he succeeds, but, according to what we've seen in other installments, that success should have resulted in Jack never being sent back into the past to begin with as there never would have been a Whistler for him to hunt or even a reason for Jack to be a Trancer Hunter.

The perfect ending for this film would have been if it had taken the series full circle by having Philip Deth, the man whose body Jack Deth's conciousness is actually inhabiting wake up to play out the scene where Lela and Jack first met, but this time without Jack's mind in his body. Failing that, future Trancer sequels SHOULD have dealt with why Jack's future even exists, as he should have unraveled it in 2005. They don't, however, but instead go off in a more fantasy-oriented direction, jettisoning most sci-fi elements as Jack Deth ends up in a parallel dimension where magic trumps his technological toys.

"Trancers III" should have been the end-point for the series, and I recommend that you make it so. The sequels that follow are far inferior to this one (despite two being written by Peter David, author of the very funny novel "Howling Mad" and a whole host of excellent comic book series) and I think you should be left with Jack's greatest adventure as the last outing you witness, even with the imperfect ending.

(The biggest problem with the David sequels is that they are more fantasy than sci-fi, probably written the way they were, because Full Moon's production facilities were at that time located primarily in Romania and the surroundings there don't lend themselves to the urban environments that Deth had up-to-that-point existed in.)

'The Occultist' is a big waste of time

The Occultist (1987)
Starring: Rick Gianasi, Joe Derrig, Richard Mooney, Mizan Nunez, Jennifer Kanter and Matt Mitler
Director: Tim Kincaid
Producers: Cynthia De Paula and Charles Band
Rating: One of Ten Stars

With one last chance to save the failing security company he inherited from his father, Barney (Derrig) takes a contract to protect the corrupt leader of a small Carribean island from terrorists, voodoo cultists and just about everyone else interested in overthrowing his government. It seems an impossible task, but Barney has help from the company's most valued agent, Waldo Warren (Gianasi), a man of many secrets and talents.


Behind that cool cover does not lurk a tale invovlving magic and hardboiled detectives. That's a shame, because if there had been that sort of vibe to the film, I might have been able to forgive the wooden and amateurish acting on the part of the entire cast, the lame camera work, the incompetent lighting, the bad sound recording, the awful pacing, and the lack of a coherent story. As it is, this is a film with absolutely nothing to offer.

Okay, that's not entire true. There is the scene where Waldo (whose big secret is not that he's an occultist--that's a different character in the film--but that he's actually a cyborg/robot with guns hidden all throughout his body) shoots several of the film's villains in a public men's room with his fully automatic machinegun penis. It was so completely out of left field that I had to rewind the scene to watch it again, just to make sure that I'd seen what I thought I saw.

This isn't the worst picture that Band has been invovled in--that honor still belongs to "The Killer Eye"--but it is pretty close. Save your time and money, because this one isn't worth either.

Tiny terror double-feature with the Ghoulies!

Want a double-bill that's going to fill any Bad Movie night with glee, laughter and little critters behaving badly? You can't go wrong with "Ghoulies" and "Ghoulies II."


Ghoulies (1985)
Starring: Peter Liapis, Lisa Pelikan, Scott Thomson, Michael Des Barres, Ralph Seymour, Keith Joe Dick, Mariska Hargitay, Jack Nance and Peter Risch
Director: Luca Bercovici
Producers: Charles Band, Debra Dion and Jefery Levy
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

Jonathan Graves (Liapis) discovers his father was a demonologist and decides to pick up where he left off, summoning nasty little demons to his bidding. He soon conceives of a plan that will give him ultimate power (as well as the complete obedience of his hot girl friend, Rebecca (Pelikan)), but, as always, the demons goals of their own, goals that will see the ressurection of their true master (Des Barres).


"Ghoulies" is a rollicking horror comedy that was a major hit in the mid-80s, thanks in a large part to the poster displayed above. It was also one of three movies that established the Charles Band trademark of featuring weird little creatures in his films (the other two being "Troll" and "Dolls").

It's the least of the trio, a little slow in getting started and never reaching quite the heights of wackiness as "Troll" nor delivering frights as effective as "Dolls", but it's still a fun and entertaining movie that makes great viewing for a Halloween-themed gathering.

The film's greatest flaw is that it's a bit too slow in getting started, but as it builds, you'll be able to have fun with the bizarre characters that make up the circle of friends that will eventually become ghoulie victims and demon-summoning ritual fodder. Once Jonathan puts on his demon summoning duds and actor Peter Liapis goes into Overacting Hyperdrive, the film becomes truly hilarious. Unintentional comedy, such as when an undead warlock turns himself into a sexy chick in order to lure one of the characters to his death, makes the film even funnier. (In the middle of alll the laughs, unintentional and otherwise, we also get a few genuinely creepy moments, such as when Jonathan turns Rebecca into a mind-numbed sex slave and later when it becomes aware of what a huge mistake he's made.)

"Ghoulies" is one of the best films to be cranked out by the Charlie Band Movie Factory, and it holds up nicely although it's nearly 25 years since it was first unleashed upon an unsuspecting public. it's one of those films that's the very definition of "guilty pleasure." You know it's garbage, but you still have a great time watching it.



Ghoulies II (1987)
Starring: Damon Martin, Phil Fondacaro, Royal Dano, J. Downing and Kerry Remsen
Director: Albert Band
Producers: Albert Band and Charles Band
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

Five diminuative demons, the ghoulies of the title, escape from their summoners and take up residence in a carnival spook house. Ghoulies being ghoulies, Bad Things soon start to happen.


That's pretty much all there is to the story in "Ghoulies II". Sure, we have a variety subplots (most of which don't really go anywhere interesting) and lots of stock characters, including the obligatory romance between the handsome young co-owner of the spook house (Damon Martin) and an aerialist-turned-exotic-dancer with a tragic past (Kerry Remsen) and the heartless accountant (J. Downing) who wants to shut the spook house down because it's not profitable enough, but that's of course secondary to watching tiny terrors spread mayhem and violence. Which they do, so for most of its running time, the film delivers exactly what we expect of it.

Unfortunately, the film lacks a decent ending. The basic idea is sound--and the insight it provides into where the ghoulies reside on the demonic foodchain is cute--but it lacks energy and any real sense of urgency. In fact, a lack of energy seems to be the problem with the entire film. For a movie like this to work--a film where crazy critters are running amok--it needs to build and build and get more frenetic until it reaches an explosive climax, literally or figuratively. Here, we may get an explosion, but we don't get the crazy, cartoony energy the film should have been full of. The movie's never boring, but it's also never as exciting as it needed to have been.

I've seen at least one reviewer refer to the original "Ghoulies" film as a low-rent version of "Gremlins." When I saw "Ghoulies" a week or two back. i wondered if he or she had actually watched the movie they were supposedly commenting on. Now, I think they must have seen "Ghoulies II" at some point and they were confusing the two. (So, I'm now certain the reviewer hadn't actually seen "Ghoulies" but was writing comments from memory and applying them to the wrong film.)

"Ghoulies II" IS a low-rent copy of "Gremlins." It's better than some of them that were made--like, for example "Hobgoblins," but still not very good. The ghoulies puppets are the best thing about the movie, and, since they're the real stars, I applaud the effort the filmmakers put into them. I just wish they'd paid more attention to the script and to the movie's pacing.