'Evil Bong 666' breathes new life into the series

Evil Bong 666 (2017)
Starring: Mindy Robinson, Robin Sydney, Sonny Carl Davis, Michelle Mais, Jessica Morris, and The Don
Director: Charles Band
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

After the mysterious disapperance of the former owner, Eebee's Magical Weed Dispensary is purchased by the devil-worshiping goth chick Lucy Furr (Robinson). When she opens to Sexy Hell, Rabbit (Davis) and the Evil Bong (Mais) join in an uneasy alliance to stop her mellow-harshing schemes... and a new hero emerges. But will even his pot-powered might be enough to save the day?

"Evil Bong 666" is a sequel to "Evil Bong High-5" and it picks up the story roughly a year after the events of that movie. It marks the end to a cycle that started with "Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong" and starts a new one... and if future films continue the trend started here, we're in for some fun times.

There are several things that the folks at Full Moon did right with this one. First of all, this is a complete movie, with a beginning, a middle, and an end. Sure, it doesn't stand completely alone--viewers who watch this without having seen, at the very least, "Evil Bong High-5" won't get all the references and jokes--but at least some effort was made to provide a well-structured script. Secondly, by replacing Larnell and/or Rabbit as the shop owner, they gave the series a new tone and an all-new life. Lucy Furr is hilarously short of patience with the drug-addled morons who come into her shop and her exaperation is a lot of fun to watch. Thirdly, Full Moon cut back on the pointless cross-overs with other properties that were only there to sell merchandice. There is product placement in the film, but it's more subtle than in previous entries (well, with one notable exception, but it's incorporated nicely into the film so it's at least not obnoxious), and the one major cross-over is part of a running gag in the film.

Speaking of that cross-over, it marks the return of Luanne (played by Robin Sydney) to the Evil Bong Series. She was last seen as the replacement for Batty Boop on Killjoy's Psycho Circus TV show (in "Killjoy's Psycho Circus"), a gig she was fired from when the real Batty returned, and she keeps up the Batty routine in this film. Mostly. There are fourth-wall-breaking references to both Mindy Robinson and Robin Sydney having played other characters in the Evil Bong films, to which the actresses react rather than the characters, and these "continuity gaffs" are very amusing.

What's also amusing is the dialogue. This is the wittiest script since the original "Evil Bong", with virtually every joke working and every zinger that Lucy Furr fires off in reaction to another character being stupid stricking home with malicious hilarity. Mindy Robinson, who has just sort of been present in the past few "Evil Bong" pictures gets to show off her knack for comedy in this one, and I hope she'll have similar opportunities in future films.

On the downside, I was disappointed that the Frankenstein spoof that was such a major part of the preview I saw is actually a minor part of the overall film. It's a high point of the movie, and I wish more of it had been this spot-on and well put together. Further, as funny a concept as Sexy Hell was, the concept was crippled by the film's low budget. Most of the effects dollars appear to have gone into the film's three creatures (Gingerdead Man, Evil Bong, and a new character that's added in the third act), so there wasn't much left to bring Sexy Hell to life--as was done with the animated scenery for Bongworld. Instead, we see the actors performing on a cramped green screen set without even animated "long shots" to provide even the slightest illusion of there being something beyond that little corner. This goes great damage to the whole concept... but maybe it will undergo a fix similar to what Bongworld received.

In the final analysis, this film was more of a joy than a chore to watch. I am looking forward to finding time to watch the final entry (so far) in the series, hoping the upward quality curve will continue!

'Axis Termination' is Quality Puppet Master!

Puppet Master: Axis Termination (2017)
Starring: Paul Logan, Tonya Kay, Kevin Allen Scott, George Appleby, Tania Fox, Alynxia America, and Lilou Vos
Director: Charles Band
Producers: Charles Band and Dale Cooper
Rating Six of Ten Stars

As a pair of Nazi mystics (Kay and Scott) and their band of psychopaths are on the verge of unlocking ancient secrets that will allow them to create unstoppable super-soldiers, an elite force of psychics in the employ of the United States Army (America, Appleby, and Fox), together with their new liaison officer (Logan), launch a desperate attempt to stop them once and for all. Meanwhile, Toulon's puppets sqaure off against their Nazi-animated counterparts.

The first two entries in the three films that have made up the latest reboot of the "Puppet Master" series were disappointments. But, since I remain ever-hopeful that Charles Band will give me another "The Creeps" or "Blood Dolls", I keep coming back for more. (Also, there's usually JUST enough in whatever film I've most recently been regretting to give me hope for the next one.)

 When the film opened with a clumsy and perfunctory elimination of the main characters from the first two movies, I feared I was in for more of the same disjointed story-telling that helped drag those previous films down. Those fears became greater as those were followed by a pair of talkie, over-long scenes that swept aside much of what the two previous films had been about.

But THEN the film got going in earnest, and I realized that the restaging and the introduction of an entirely new set of characters and a new plot direction in this third and final part of what had been described as a "trilogy" was all about picking up some of the plot threads from one of my favorite Puppet Master films--"Retro Puppet Master"! While the film still dragged a little here and there, and the acting left a little to be desired at points, the return of the full-tilt mysticism and expansion upon the Eldritch Horror Roots of the puppets more than made up for this.

The film even featured honest-to-god Puppet Masters, which the previous two didn't really, and the Nazi Mystics vs. Allied Mystics also helped the film a great deal. The puppets were also better animated than they've been for a long, long time, something which made up for the fact that Blade's design didn't match what had been present in the past two movies. (I have seen some comment they were disappointed that some of the puppet "animation" was done using actors in costume against a green screen. It didn't bother me at all, but then I've been watching Band productions for 30 years now so I've seen far worse.)

Another minor plus is they even got the hairstyles on the female characters right for the period in which the film was set. It's not that I'm a fashion expert... I just watch a lot of movies from the period the last few Puppet Master films have been set in, so little things like that stick out to me. Check out my Shades of Gray blog for reviews of black-and-white movies and more!

While the acting was generally not anything to cheer about, George Appleby and Tonya Kay gave nice performances as the lead good and evil mystics respectively. The characters had history, and while it's not fully explained in the film, he was felt in the performance and it made the characters more real. Kevin Allen Scott and Lilou Vos were also scary as the lead Nazi psychopaths... with Scott being particularly impressive, even with his magical powers being expressed through supremely cheesy digital effects.

While "Puppet Master: Axis Termination" is far from a perfect movie, it ended this go-around with the killer puppets and dolls on a high note. I, once again, find myself encouraged by what I perceive as a general upward trend in the overall quality of Band's productions. Maybe we've hit rock bottom, and it will only get better from here.

Killjoy's back... and he's brought the funny!

Killjoy's Psycho Circus (2016)
Starring: Trent Haaga, Victoria De Mare, Robin Sydney, Al Burke, Tai Chan Ngo, Victoria Levine, Stephen F. Cardwell, Lauren Nash, and Tim Chizmar
Director: John Lechago
Producers: Charles Band and John Lechago
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

After escaping from Hell, the demonic clown Killjoy (Haaga) and his fellow clown demons Batty Boop (De Mare), Punchy (Burke), and Freakshow (Ngo) have been keeping themselves busy as hosts of a late-night variety show called Psycho Circus. But life on Earth is proving tougher than expected, as the pressures of running a business starts to tear the group apart... and things go from bad to worse when the arch-demon they humiliated by escaping his grasp (Cardwell) comes to drag them back to the Netherworld.

The Principles of Psycho Circus: Killjoy (Trent Haaga, bottom left),
 Samantha (Victoria Levine, bottom right), Punchy (Al Burke, top left) and Freakshow (Tai Chan Ngo)

"Killjoy's Psycho Circus" brings back not only the majority of the stars from the last entry in this long-running Full Moon series, but writer/director John Lechago is once again at the helm. As with the previous two films in the series, Lechago and his cast take viewers on a wild four-color ride of insanity and hilarity. There's very little left of the Killjoy's horror roots here--except for the macabre deaths he visited upon the guests who appear on his show--but in its place is a steady stream of foul-mouthed humor and biting satire directed at the entertainment industry at large and Full Moon's own products in particular. There's a solid belly laugh every few minutes, and long-time Full Moon fans will be smiling throughout the picture.

Once again, Trent Haaga is spectacular as Killjoy, and he's hilarious playing a caricature of himself as a guest on Killjoy's TV show. Victoria De Mare is once again lots of fun as Batty Boop, even if her role is somewhat reduced... but it's not a bad thing as Full Moon mainstay Robin Sidney turns in an excellent "fake" Batty for the initial parts of the film. This "recasting" is one of many commentaries on the film and TV business scattered throughout this entry and it's one of the best. When the "fake" Batty first appeared, I was a little annoy by the obvious body suit that had replaced the body paint, but once it became clear was was going on, I loved every bit relating to the "replacement" that followed.

I also loved the references to other Full Moon properties, even to the Killjoy series itself as merchandizing vehicles. Lechago dealt with the ever-present element of product placement in recent Full Moon productons in blatant and hilarious ways (while still fulfilling what I assume were actual product-placement deals with companies outside Band's operation), and what would probably have had me rolling my eyes in annoyance instead had me wiping away tears of laughter.
Another strong point of this film is that the Hell and demons centered in a world of pulp-magazine style sci-fi  that was introduced in "Killjoy Goes to Hell", in place of the usual mysticism and fire-and-brimstone, continues here and is ratcheted up even further, as the film's climax unfolds in space, with Killjoy and his clowns serving as the crew on their own rocket ship. It's crazy, and it works beautifully, especially the way it sets up future sequels that can either bring the series back to its horror roots, or spin it even further off into psuedo-sci-fi tomfoolery.

The only complaints I have with "Killjoy's Psycho Circus" is that some characters and their stories are left dangling at the end of the movie. I would have liked to have seen a wrap-up of some sort involving Killjoy's agent and business manager (played by Victoria Levine), not to mention a real pay-off for the running gag of her insisting that Killjoy needed to start selling ice cream on the show. I also wanted to see a better resolution to the "fake" Batty storyline, other than the confirmation that Sidney was playing her "Evil Bong" character playing Batty Boop. A publicity still for the film seemed to indicate that there would be the sort of resolution I would expect the real Batty Boop to visit upon an imposter, but such a scene is not in the film. (There is a confrontation, but it's a disappointingly mild one.)

Real and Fake Batty Boops! (Victoria De Mare, left, and Robin Sydney)

This scene does not appear in the film, but should! (Sydney, left, and De Mare)

In the final analysis, Killjoy's Psycho Circus isn't quite as good as "Killjoy Goes to Hell", but anyone who's enjoyed the previous Lechago-helmed entries in the series will still get a huge kick out of it and should consider it a must-watch release from Full Moon.

Fondacaro is the best thing in 'Sideshow'

Sideshow (2000)
Starring: Phil Fondacaro, Jamie Martz, Michael Amos, Jessica Keenan, Scott Clark, Jeana Blackman, and Brinke Stevens
Director: Fred Olen Ray
Producers: Charles Band and Gary Schmoeller
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

When a group of teenagers insult the evil master of a travel sideshow (Fondacaro), he turns the force of his magical carnival upon them.

It's hard to go wrong with a creepy carnival/cursed freak show movie. All it requires are a cast of unpleasant "heroes" to serve as victims, neat costumes for sufficient gross circus freaks, and a charismatic and scary ring master to draw the elements together and deliver thrills and chills to a willing audience.

And Full Moon and Fred Olen Ray almost pull it off, producing a better movie than I would have expected based on the obscurity of "Sideshow" and the bringing together of the rapidly declining production capacities of Charles Band and a director whose output, up to that point, amounted to little more than a steaming pile of crap. In fact, this film marked a turning point for Ray, as his output seems to be slightly better in the 2000s than it was in the 1990s. OF course, it was also the final angle in a turning point for Band, as he was launched into a downward trajectory as fas as quality goes that continues to this day.

But with "Sideshow", director Olen and producer Band deliver most of what Full Moon fans have come to expect, as well as dread.

The cast of heroes/victims of the evil sideshow are an assortment of teenaged stereotypes, although only two of them are exactly what you'd expect. There's the over-sexed bully, who in less than ten minutes into the film is established as a misogynistic asshole who likes to pick on anyone and everything that isn't exactly like him, and there's the somewhat frumpy girl with the self-esteem problem that the popular and beautiful girl keeps around to make herself look more beautiful. The remaining three teens are just as one-dimensional, but they are slightly different spins on the characters we expect to find in this sort of film, so they bring a small degree of freshness to the proceedings. The two likely heroes--a pair of brothers who seem to be a little smarter than the other characters--turn out to be too flawed to fill those roles; one is too cowardly and the other turns out to be a spiritual weakling that's as easy prey for the carnival master as his friends. And the gorgeous popular girl, whom we expect to be slutty, is instead so in love with herself that she won't allow any dirty boys to lay a hand on her and taint her perfection. These are nice twists, and I think these characters could have been even more interesting, even if the script remained as relatively thin as it is, if they had been brought more fully to life by actors with talent beyond merely looking good and who perhaps were closer in age to the characters they're supposed to be playing. As with so many other Full Moon productions, we have actors in their mid to late twenties trying to pass for high school students and failing.

One thing that is done absolutely correctly here is that the film gets underway immediately and never breaks the forward momentum until the final frame. While I might have liked a little more development of some of the characters, I can also appreciate the fact that the film stayed focused and that no attempt was made to make it anything but a fast-moving B-picture about carnival freaks and obnoxious kids who get "what's they deserve."

On the unquestionable plus-side is the fact that the film's story gets underway immediately and there is no pause in forward momentum until the final frame.

We also have Phil Fondacaro turning in yet another great performance. He's not quite as good as he was in "The Creeps", but he pretty much owns this picture as he's the actor who brings any real personality to his role. If only the rest of the cast was as good as he is, this film might have been as entertaining as "Blood Dolls" or "Hideous!" (It might not be entirely fair to compare this film to those others, as they featured seasoned actors while everyone in a major role except Fondacaro has this movie as the first entry on their IMDB resumes. But the point still stands as a sound one... the off-kilter characters in this film required actors of more talent to do them proper justice.)

It also would have been nice if there had been just a little more money in the budget for bigger and more elaborate sets. However, Ray did make sure that every dollar he had at his disposal showed up on the screen. The creature effects and the sideshow freaks are all extremely well done for a film at this level. Some are outright gross, and I add this film to the list of those I regret watching while having dinner.

Fans of movies featuring freaks, or of the "classic Full Moon flavor" will find "Sideshow" a pleasant way to pass 70 minutes. Yes, it's lacking in some areas, but it's still lots of fun.

Killer robots and global warming equal threats in 'Crash and Burn'

Crash and Burn (1990)
Starring: Paul Ganus, Megan Ward, Bill Moseley, Eva LaRue Callahan, Jack McGee and Ralph Waite
Director: Charles Band
Producers: Charles Band, Debra Dion and David DeCoteau
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

The staff of and visitors to an isolated television station in the wastelands of a global-warming ravaged, heatstorm-swept American Southwest must survive the assault of a Synthoid, a human-like robot, programmed to kill all who oppose the tyrannical autocracy of world government Unicom.

"Crash and Burn" is a fast-paced, light-weight sci-fi yarn that combines a whole host of pulp-fiction/comic-booky/cyberpunky futuristic tropes--killer robots passing for humans, giant robots, a decaying society with a questionable moral fiber that is ruled by an oligarchical global government, and plucky rebels embodied by a cranky old man and a tough young girl--to great effect and moves swiftly through its action-packed story.


The characters in the film are all as shallow and cliched as can be expected--movies of this kind are usually more about the action and plot than the characters--but the actors all do decent jobs in their parts, with Megan Ward as the cute teenaged tech genius, Paul Ganus as the dashing hero, and Bill Moseley as the handyman sidekick with a secret doing particularly well in their respective parts.

The special effects are about par for a low-budget sci-fi film of this vintage--it's got decent matte shots, make-up, and stop-motion model effects sequences--and the violence is also standard action movie fare. Everything here is pleasantly average, which puts it well above the usual fare for a direct-to-video film from the early 1990s. (I continue to be surprised by how good these old Full Moon films are.)

Another thing that surprised me about this film is that it hasn't been reissued with fanfare and a marketing push or that Charles Band & Company hasn't thrown together a sequel for it.

The film's backdrop--a world ravaged by global warming and struggling under the thumb of an eeeeevil megacorp that wraps itself in right-wing and religious rhetoric to control the masses--seems like just the sort of thing that the modern environmental movement would lap up. It seems to me that a DVD containing this film, a newly made sequel and a marketing campaign with slogans along the lines of "They didn't listen to the warnings, nor pay heed to the inconvenient truth... now the world is paying the price!" would sell plenty of DVDs.

Then again, maybe that's why I'm not in product development or marketing.

The aliens just wanna rock all night (and steal our wimmen!)

Bad Channels (1992)
Starring: Paul Hipp, Martha Quinn, Michael Huddleston, Aaron Lustig, Roumel Reaux and Victor Rogers
Director: Ted Nicolaou
Producers: Charles Band and Keith Payson
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A disk jockey known for crazy on-air stunts (Hipp) becomes the unwitting partner of an alien who has come to Earth to abduct beautiful women via otherworldly technology, radiowaves, and rock music.

Paul Hipp stars in "Bad Channels"

"Bad Channels" is a very silly sci-fi comedy that makes fun of all the conventions of a 1950s sci-fi films but does so with a 1980s attitude. The film is driven almost entirely by a fun script, as pretty much every actor featured in the film reported for work but doesn't appear to have done much more than that. No one's particularly bad, but everyone is what you'd expect in a B-movie like this.

The film's biggest weakness is the fact that it includes three full length rock videos in it. They're all pretty decent--and the rock band performing with cheerleaders in a gym predicts a more famous effort--but they in the context of the film they go on for too long. The audience isn't looking for classic MTV-type material, but for alien abduction action.

If you've enjoyed other comedies from Full Moon (like "Hideous!"), I think you'll like this movie. You'll also like it if you enjoyed offerings from the Sci-Fi Channel like "The Man With the Loud Brain". This kind of movie making apparently hasn't evolved since the 1980s.

A Charles Band-produced Frankenfilm!

Savage Island (aka "Banished Women" and "Prison Island") (1985)
Starring: Anthony Steffan, Ajita Wilson, Stelio Candelli, Christina Lai, Luciano Rossi, Linda Blair, Leon Askin, and Penn Jillette
Directors: Edoardo Mulargia and Nicholas Beardsley
Producer: Charles Band (as Roger Amante) and Mark Alabiso
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

An escapee from a hellish work camp (Blair), where enslaved women mine emeralds, holds its owner (Askin) at gunpoint while she relates the tale of how her allies (Steffan and Wilson) infiltrated the facility and destroyed it.



"Savage Island" is a Frankenfilm in the grand tradition of so many Godfrey Ho-assembled ninja pictures. It's made with pieces from a pair of commercially-failed South American women-in-jungle-hell-prison movies, "Hotel Paradise" and "Escape From Hell", sandwiched between footage featuring Linda Blair and a vengeful she-demon in a cheap fur coat, and kinda-sorta glued together with narration from Blair.

Unlike many Frankenfilm's this one benefits from the fact that three actors (Anthony Steffan, Ajita Wilson, and Christina Lay) are featuring prominently in both the original films, playing largely similar roles in each. The same is true of several of the supporting cast members. Further, both films were directed by the same man, and set in nearly identical locations, so the "meanwhile, in a different movie" sensation that so often creeps into Frankenfilms--where locations and tone and focus characters change back and forth--this one comes across as, more or less, a unified whole.

That's not to say that whole isn't a mess. To start with, the pieces from which "Savage Island" is assembled came from films with highly illogical plots that feature characters going through the motions to make sure all the standard elements of a "women in jungle prison" exploitation flick get included; character actions are dictated more by plot and genre needs than anything that even comes close to sense. Combining the two films--one about revolutionaries infiltrating a diamond mine worked by enslaved women, and one where the abused prisoner's in a women's prison convince the prison doctor to help them stage an escape-- while adding the third element of Linda Blair "masterminding" a jewel heist didn't improve matters at all.

Further, while it appears characters remain present throughout the film, they only do so with some bizarre continuity glitches. Anthony Steffan switches back and forth between outfits with no apparent rhyme or reason, and Ajita Wilson's hair gets longer and shorter and longer between scenes. I also think the same supporting actress was murdered by angry prisoners twice.

In the end, as Frankenfilms go, this isn't a bad attempt. In fact, it probably ranks among the better of its kind. However, it might not be worth going out of your way for, unless you're a big lover of cheesy jungle films, or a huge fan of Anthony Steffan or Ajita Wilson--although in the case of the latter, you'd be disappointed because her assets are nowhere near as fully on display here as in other films she's been in. Fans of Penn and Teller might also be curious to witness the first film appearance (and on-screen death) of Penn Jillette.







(Full disclosure: This review is based on a screener copy of the film given to me by Full Moon Pictures.)

'Dollman'... 13 inches with an attitude

Dollman (1991)
Starring: Tim Thomerson, Kamala Lopez, Jackie Earle Haley and Humberto Ortiz
Director: Albert Pyun
Producers: Cathy Gesualdo and Charles Band
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Brick Bardo (Thomerson), the toughest cop on the distant world of Auturus, crashlands his spaceship on Earth while pursuing a dangerous criminal through a spacial anomoly. He proceeds to defend a single mother (Lopez) against a violent gang in the South Bronx, proving that size isn't everything because Brick stands only thirteen inches tall, and he is now in a world of giants.


"Dollman" is a fun, fast-paced sci-fi action comedy where Tim Thomerson gets to show off his roots as a comedian even while playing one of the toughest action heroes to ever grace the silver screen. (Has any Bruce Willis characters taken on an army of giants carrying automatic firearms? How about Vin Diesel? Arnold Schwartzenegger? James Cagney? Douglas Fairbanks? No, they have not!) Thomerson has some very funny interplay with his new giant friends, even while doing a very funny take-off on Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry character in the way Brick Bardo talks and carries himself. (The opening scene on Bardo's homeworld where he deals with a hostage situation in a fashion that would make Harry proud is one of this film's high points.)

It might be the New York setting or the way the street gang behaves, but "Dollman" feels more like a Troma Film than a typical Charles Band production--it's closer in feel and tone to "Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD" than any Band film I've seen so far. This isn't a bad thing, though... it can lead to all sorts of "what-if" fantasies regarding possible creative bi-costal team-ups by two of the greatest B-movie moguls of the late 20th century, Charles Band and Lloyd Kaufman. (How about "Toxic Avenger vs. the Demonic Toys", "Surf Nazis Must Kill the Puppet Master" or "Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD: The Case of the Killer Bong" anyone?)

The film is blessed with a talented cast, all of whom are perfectly cast in their parts and who have good lines to deliver. The special effects are passable and the action and humor is top-notch.

Unfortunately, this is another Full Moon feature that is simply too short for it to be as good as it might have been. This would have been a much stronger film if more time spent on developing the characters in the movie, primarily some of the connections between the people Bardo encounters Earth-side. (For example, there seems to be history between the gangleader and the single mom, but we never get to learn what that is. Knowing that could have lent more impact to the film's conclusion.)

It's also unfortunate that instead of adding such character development scenes, the filmmakers chose to pad the already brief running time with several stretches of random city scenes. Director Albert Pyun establishes the rundown Bronx neighborhood every effectively when Brick Bardo first crashes there, but then he establishes it again and again, for no real good reason. The end result is a film that clocks in about 70 minutes, but it really probably just shy of an hour long.

However, the padding isn't to the degree where it's destructive; it's just a shame that it's there in place of more important story matter that should have been present in the film. Despite its flaws, "Dollman" is one of the best films to issue forth from Charles Band's idea factory and it's another reason why the late 1980s and early 1990s is the Full Moon Golden Age.

Radu still doesn't get the girl in final 'Subspecies'

Subspecies 4: Bloodstorm (1998)
Starring: Denice Duff, Anders Hove, Floriela Grappini, Jonathon Morris, Mihai Dinvale, Ion Haiduc, and Ioana Abur
Director: Ted Nicolaou
Producers: Charles Band, Kirk Edward Hansen, and Vlad Paunescu
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Free of her master Radu (Hove), fledgeling vampire Michelle (Duff) enters the care of a doctor who claims he has discovered a method to reverse her undead condition. But Radu is not ready to let her go yet, and he launches an effort to retrieve her, with the reluctant help of Bucharest's most powerful vampire, Ash (Morris).

In the annals of unnecessary sequels, few are more unnecessary than "Subspecies 4". The 1993 third movie in the series provided a satisfying conclusion to the core story of the series--Michelle resisting Radu's attempts to turn her to evil--and the heroes driving off into the sunrise as Radu was burned to ashy oblivion was a nice period at the end.

But, Charles Band being Charles Band, a successful film WILL have a sequel no matter what, so four years later, Nicolaou was back in the director's chair at the helm of this film, which is an unnecessary sequel not just to the first three "Subspecies" films, but to the tangentially related "Vampire Journals", which was also written and directed by Nicolau. (Or maybe it's a prequel to "Vampire Journals"? With Full Moon's trademark disregard for continuity, I never can be 100 percent sure what they're intending....)

All that said, despite being a wholly unnecessary add-on to the other vampire films, it stands with the original "Subspecies" films and "Vampire Journals" as one of the most visually striking films to ever come from the Band direct-to-home-video assembly lines. Nicolaou really knew how to get the most out of the grand Romanian locations, especially at night. He also continues his flair for stretching his minimal budget to the point where he creates an end-product that looks better than films that cost ten times as much to make.

And while the film is not as good as "Subspecies 3"--the best film from Nicolau I've seen so far--it is an improvement on the overly slow "Vampire Journals".

As for the story, it's a tangle plots and counter-plots that rival the storylines envisioned by the creators of the 1990s roleplaying game "Vampire: The Masquerade" which these movies have always seemed like the perfect adaptation of. Radu plotting to conquer
Michelle, Ash plotting to destroy Radu, Dr. Niculescu's hidden agenda and dark secret... all of these intrigues swirl around Michelle who continues to resist the call of evil and dream of reclaiming her humanity. If you like the Anne Rice-style vampire genre and/or the 1990s White Wolf-style roleplaying games, you'll enjoy this movie.

You'll also enjoy the film if you liked Anders Hove performances in the previous "Subspecies" films. Hove's Radu is every bit as disgusting as he's always been, although he is also even more pathetic in this film that ever before, with his desire for Michelle now fully transformed from its initial need to possess into unrequited love. The rest of the cast do a good job as well, with Jonathon Morris actually being better as Ash in this film than he was in "Vampire Journals" and Ion Haiduc providing gallows-humor comic relief as a police detective turned bumbling vampire (making him the only returning character from the previous two films aside from Michelle and Radu).

'Killjoy 3': Best Band production in a decade

Killjoy 3 (2010)
Starring: Trent Haaga, Spiral Jackson, Jessica Whitaker, Darrow Igus, Victoria De Mare, Al Burke, Olivia Dawn York, and Michael Rupnow
Director: John Lechago
Producers: Charles Band, Henry Luk, and Tai Chan Ngo
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Four college students (Jackson, Rupnow, Whitaker, and York) become the latest victims of the demonic clown Killjoy (Haaga) when they inadvertently place themselves in his clutches. Killjoy, together with his newly created clown posse that includes Punchy (Burke) and Batty Boop (De Mare), is seeking revenge on their professor (Igus), who is in turn seeking to control Killjoy for his own mysterious reasons.

Finally, a film that is a solid reversal of the ten-year downward-trend that's been evident in the vast majority of Charles Band production. Not only is this a really fun movie, but it's what the original "Killjoy" film SHOULD have been!

As 2010 has wore on, I have been growing increasingly depressed in regards to the future outlook of my favorite source of movie madness--the Charles Band Film Factory. After two less-than-impressive sequels to films from his glory days--Demonic Toys 2 and Puppet Master: Axis of Evil--and a dearth of decent finds as I turned to Band's more obscure efforts in collaboration with producer JR Bookwalter, I was getting ready to call this blog "good enough" and turn it into an archive.

But then the good people at Full Moon Features sent me a little care package, which included "Killjoy 3", their final release of 2010... and my hope for more Full Moon viewing in the future has been restored!

"Killjoy 3" is not only the movie that the original "Killjoy" should have been--a weird and colorful romp of evil clown-driven supernatural murder and mayhem--but it also captures the darkly humorous mood of classic Full Moon films like "Demonic Toys", and "The Creeps". It's a fast-moving, sharply focused story that doesn't waste a second of screen time and which keeps accelerating and growing more intense and insane until it reaches its gory climax. And writer/director John Lechago even manages to throw in some bits of characterization for both the demons and the victims without slowing the film, making this one of the best scripts for a Full Moon feature in a while. Heck, it even features a denouement that is dramatically appropriate and not just a half-assed sequel set-up.

A large portion of the credit for this film's success rests with Trent Haaga and Victoria De Mare, half of the demonic clown act that kills its way through the the college kids who get caught between Killjoy and the professor that is the object of his wrath. Although Haaga didn't originate the role of Killjoy, he makes a vastly superior killer clown to Angel Vargas from the first film. Vargas was one of the best things about "Killjoy", but he his performance was unfunny and more annoying than scary... he only looked as good as he did, because everything else was completely awful. Haaga on the other is both hilarious and scary, often both at the same time. He has some nice lines and he delivers them with great gusto. The same is true of De Mare, who plays a succubus in clown make-up; writer/director Lechago praises her as "fearless" in the behind-the-scenes material included on the DVD, and she would have to be as her costume consists of hooker boots, a feather boa, and full-body make-up. But in addition to being courageous, she is also able to deliver a performance as crazy and scary as the one given by Haaga. De Mare's best moments as Boop comes during a sequence scene where she is trying to seduce straight-arrow football quarterback Michael Rupnow and him him betray his fidelity to his good-girl girlfriend Jessica Whitacker, while Whitacker is trying to trick Killjoy by pretending to seduce him. De Mare, like Haaga, is both scary and funny during these scenes.

Other nice performances come from Spiral Jackson (as shy football player Zilla) and Al Burke as Punchy the Clown, especially during the scene where Zilla tries to convince Punchy that it's time for him to throw of the yoke of servitude to Killjoy and fight for the emancipation of demonic clowns everywhere.

Finally, Darrow Igus turns in another excellent performance for Full Moon as the enigmatic Professor. The plot twist and tie-back to the first "Killjoy" film wouldn't have been nearly as effective is a lesser actor had been cast in that part

However, as fun and enjoyable as this film is, it's not perfect.

Although demonic realm of Killjoy is far better realized in this film, it still feels cramped due to the film's small sets and budget. Also budget is the one truly weak spot in the film--the demonic clown known as Freakshow (and played by producer Tai Chan Ngo). The character is supposed to be a conjoined twin, but the person supposedly growing out of his side is a virtually unaltered, off-the-shelf baby doll. The film would have been much stronger if this character had been cut, since it add anything significant to the story and there wasn't money to do it right.

On the flip-side of this, I felt like the film would have benefited from a little more set-up of the main characters. While Lechago took more time to do this than in any other Full Moon film in recent memory, there were still some elements that could have done with a little more development. For example, one of the girls (played by Olivia Dawn York) is presented as the "slutty one" by inference in some of Killjoy's comments, yet there is no actual evidence of this in the film. Everything surrounding this character would have been so much stronger if it had been her caught with a guy in the closet during the film's opening scenes, even more-so if she was being "eaten" by the guy. Everything surrounding her would make more sense and be more dramatically appropriate.

Despite these flaws, however, this is a film I feel great about recommending to all fans of classic Full Moon efforts. This final film of 2010 gives me hope for Charles Band and his co-horts for 2011 and beyond.



Click here to check out the "Saturday Scream Queen" profile for Victoria De Mare at the Terror Titans blog.

'Retro Puppet Master' fouled by sequel dreams

Retro Puppet Master (1999)

Starring: Greg Sestero, Brigitta Dau, Stephen Blackehart, Jack Donner and Guy Rolfe
Director: David DeCoteau (as Joesph Tennent)
Producers: Charles Band, Kirk Edward Hansen, and Vlad Paunescu
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

It's 1892 and Andre Toulon (Sestero), the young owner and operator of an avant-garde puppet theater in Paris becomes smitten with Ilsa (Dau), the daughter of the Swiss ambassador, when she attends one of his shows. But before romance can bloom, Toulon and Ilsa become the targets of an ancient cult of demon worshippers attempted to retreive the secret of animating dead matter with the spririt of the living that was stolen from them by an Egyptian mystic (Donner). Even as the minions of the cultists destroy everything Toulon holds dear, they place him on the path to his destiny as the beloved and feared Puppet Master.

"Retro Puppet Master" is the seventh entry in Full Moon's most successful franchise, the Puppet Master series. It's actually a decent movie that offers a level of fright that I haven't seen in the series since the original "Puppet Master" film, as well as featuring a decent script and a talented cast of actors (including Guy Rolfe, in his final role). The gore is low, but the tension and excitement is high, as we witness the creation of Andre Toulon's first set of magical puppets and they go on a rampage in defense of their master and his lady love.

Although the heart of the movie is strong, it still has some fatal flaws.

First, we have the usual Full Moon sloppiness as far as continuity goes. The seventh Puppet Master is a prequel that gives fills in more of Andre Toulon's backstory, but its pieces don't quite fit with what we learned in "Puppet Master", "Puppet Master II" or "Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge". (Of course, ignoring "Puppet Master II" counts in this film's favor, as it doesn't fit with any other film in the series, presenting Toulon and Ilsa both as evil psychos.) I've been been a bit bemused by Charles Band's apparent purposeful disregard for continuity in the movies he produces... it's one thing for Universal or Hammer to not give a rat's ass for continuity in the 1940s and 1950s when movies weren't readily available at the corner drugstore or from Amazon.com, but why Band and Company--whose films have been direct-to-video/DVD for most of his career--can't get with the times where it's easy to watch an entire film series back-to-back is beyond me.

Second, "Retro Puppet Master" offers an incomplete story. It ends without explaining a mystery that was set up in the film's framing sequence--how was Toulon's first set of puppets destroyed?--and it ends on the cusp of what sounds like a far more exciting adventure than the one we have just watched, one that will see Toulon and Ilsa in a showdown with the demon cultists. When I see a movie, I expect it to come to a satisfying close, even if the filmmakers are already planning a sequel. This film comes to a close, but it's far from satisfying. (And, to make matters worse, it's over a decade later now and we still haven't gotten a continuation of the tale in this film.)

If you're a fan of the "Puppet Master" series--particularly as it manifested in "Puppet Master III" and "Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys"--I think you'll enjoy this film, despite its flaws. I also think you'll find it a nice addition to a selection of films to screen during a Halloween party.

'The Alchemist' is so-so early effort of Band

The Alchemist (1986)
Starring: Lucinda Dooling, John Sanderford, Robert Ginty, Robert Glaudini and Viola Kates Stimpson
Producers: Charles Band, Lawrence Applebaum, Billy Fine and Jay Schultz
Director: James Amante (aka Charles Band)
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

When a farmer (Ginty) sets out to rescue his wife from an evil sorcerer (Glaudini), she ends up dead and he ends up cursed with immortality and occassional transformation into a monster. Nearly a century later, the reincarnation of his long-dead love (Dooling) and a hitchhiker at the wrong place at the wrong time (Sanderford) are drawn into a final showdown between farmer, sorcerer and a gaggle of demons.


An early effort from Charles Band this is a film that's hit and miss in the quality department... with more misses than hits, I'm sorry to say. Nonetheless, the film is a great example of how Band used to be able to create a suitably eerie atmosphere and make the most of his low budgets, an ability that seems to have left him in recent years, both as a director and a producter. There are still enough glimmers of the old Band that I hope a new Full Moon will rise, but it's been about a decade since he's even been as good as what we have in this film.

The film's biggest drawback is its slow-moving plot that's made even slower by obvious padding and by one of the clearest displays of Stupid Character Syndrom ever put on screen. (Lucinda Dooling keeps wigging out at the wheel of the car and almost crashing several times, yet hitchhiker John Sanderford keeps getting back in the car with her. Why? Well, because if he didn't, the film would be over. Once would have been enough to establish the gradual reawakening of the reincarnated soul, but Band and the writers drives the point home over and over to stretch the film to meet a minimum running length.)

Still, when the film gets going and the monsters start popping up and dimensional portals are opened thanks to cheap special effects, that old time Charles Band Magic is in full effect and we have a film that ends on a note far higher than everthing that led up to it indicated.

Everything except the acting that is. For the most part, the film's cast does an excellent job with what they have to work with. Ginty in particular does an excellent job as the emotionally tortured immortal, while Stimpson manages to effectively convey the fatigue of a woman who has spent her entire life tending to a sick family member. Dooling and Sandford are rather bland, but I can't blame the actors as their parts are written that way.

In final analysis, though, this film is really only for the Full Moon/Charles Band completists like myself. The rest of you are better off looking at the movies filed under the "High Rating" tag on this blog.

A sex change brings Life After Deth

Trancers 6 (2002)
Starring: Zette Sullivan, Jennifer Capo, Robert Donovan, Jere Jon and Timothy Prindle
Director: Jay Woelfel
Producers: Johnnie J. Young, Maurice Smith and Charles Band
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Time-traveling Trancer Hunter Jack Deth discovers he truly is his own ancestor when he finds himself inhabiting the body of the daughter he sired during a previous trip to the 20th century (Sullivan). He must save her from a new breed of Trancers in order to save himself and the future from oblivion.



I love time-travel stories and the twist arising from the tangle of history created by Jack Deth fathering a child in the past is a fun one and it makes me favorably disposed to this film from the outset. The fact that Full Moon returned to the series' roots as a sci-fi tale and dumped all the fantasy nonsense from Parts 4 and 5 make me like it even more. And given that the film finally resolves to my satisfaction the troubling question about why Jack and his future didn't cease to exist when he definitively wiped out even the origin point of Trancers in Parts 2 and 3--makes me like it even better.

The performance by Zette Sullivan--which basically consists of a skinny girl doing an impersonation of Tim Thomerson's original film-noir macho portrayls of Deth--is cute icing on a well-made cake.

Unfortunately, the cake is a little on the stale side. For all the appealing points of the film, there is a atmosphere of "been here before" throughout it. Previous films featured conspiracies, powerhungry politicos and "trancer farms" like the ones we find in this film (even if screenwriter Joyner used these elements to more effectively than ever before establish why the dark future that spawned Deth's half-destroyed world still comes into being). The method of creating Trancers is different, but the general trappings are the same, so the sense of retread in inescapable.
The film also has some of the worst continuity control I think I have ever seen. Sullivan's costume changes repeatedly from moment to moment, and her hair is up one second, then down the next. She also carries a purse that has a remarkable ability to appear and disappear and even change shape!

The inability to hide the low budget that this film was made on is also ever-present. Like just about every movie that Band has been involved with since the turn of the century, the film suffers from production values that are but a pale reflection of what his films once featured. And this drop-off is even more evident on the DVD edition that I acquired of the film, as it contains the original 1985 "Trancers"; "Trancers 6" looks flat and amateurish when viewed in close context with that other film.

Still, if you enjoyed the first three films in this series, I think you'll find enough here to like this one as well. Zette Sullivan is funny and cute, and it's a shame that she hasn't had any film roles since 2002.

'Subspecies' is good start to great series

Subspecies (1991)
Starring: Laura Mae Tate, Irina Movila, Michelle McBride, Anders Hove, Ivan J. Rado and Michael Watson
Director: Ted Nicolaou
Producer: Ion Ionescu and Charles Band
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Three pretty grad students (McBride, Movila and Tate) working on disertations are in Transylvania to study the local legends and folk customs, only to find themselves in the middle of a vampiric family feud that's been brewing for centuries and that is now reaching it's brutal, bloody finale.


"Subspecies" is one of the better vampire movies to come out of the 1990s, despite the obvious budget constraints it was made under. It's an interesting merging of the hideous monstrosity vampires from the real legends and early movies and the sexy vampire that grew increasingly popular during the second half of the 20th century, reaching the pinnacle of pop culture success by the mid-1990s.

The story feels a tad slow-moving, partly because the film telegraphs where it's going by leading with the vampires and their blood-feud and then cutting to our three soon-to-be damsels in distress--two very cute blonds and an androgynous brunette--for extended sequences as they wander around old castles and a beautiful countryside, broken only by scenes of the very creepy and disgusting vampire Radu (played by Anders Hove, in a fashion that makes Max Schreck's Count Orlock in "Nosferatu" look like a GQ cover model) rising from his coffin. Radu is so vile that you know he's going to be chewing his way through the cast, so you're going to be feeling a bit impatient with the film as it works its way toward the expected carnage.

However, the film is never dull, nor will you likely be tempted to turn it off. The cast are all good actors and they all play their parts well. The camerawork is excellent and the true Romanian settings lends an atmosphere of realism to the film that few modern-day vampire films can muster.

But when it gets going, it delivers vampire material running the gamut. We've got a disgusting, drooling taloned vampire that's a late 20th century take on the "Nosferatu"-style vampire, we've got sexy vampire babes in nightgowns who might have just flitted over from one of Hammer's Dracula movies, and we've got the male model modern vampire hunk love interest of one of the girls (played by Michael Watson, who was a soap-opera star when the "Subspecies" movie were made).

With all of the good things I'm saying about the film, why am I only giving it a Six Rating, you ask? Well, it's because of the inconsistencies and strange logic surrounding the pint-sized monters that are a mainstay of Charles Band-produced films whether they belong or not. Here, the tiny creatures are nasty demons that are created from severed tips of Radu's fingers, but they fail to seem real because of the truly crappy effects used to bring them to life. For example, in all but one scene, no one bothered to trick in shadows under the creatures, so they appear to be floating over the floor instead of walking on it. They look exactly like what they are: Puppets that have been placed in the scenes via special effects, and they ruin almost every scene they're in because of it. (The bad effects and near-pointlessness of the creatures isn't the worst Band will deliver in this department--that comes much later in 2009's "Skull Heads".)

Despite its flaws, "Subspecies" is a vampire movie that has a little something for everyone, including bare breasts. Those of you who enjoy vampire movies with more of a gothic flavor to them than we've seen in recent years will be especially appreciative of the tone and nature of the film. It's a good start for a series features some of Full Moon's most accomplished releases. It's a shame it's not been as popular as some of their other creations, such as the Puppet Master films.

The man with a doctorate in... the unknown!

Doctor Mordrid, Master of the Unknown (1993)
Starring: Jeffrey Combs, Yvette Nipar and Brian Thompson
Directors: Charles Band and Albert Band
Producers: Charles Band and Albert Band
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Anton Mordrid (Combs) is an unaging sorcerer who is lives secretly in the modern world, guarding Earth from demonic invasions. When the evil alchemist Kabal (Thompson) escapes from what was supposed to be his eternal prison, Mordid must turn to mortal woman Samantha Hunt (Nipar) for help if humanity is to survive.


"Doctor Mordrid" is a neat little modern fantasy film that, like a number of other Full Moon releases is surprisngly good for a direct-to-video release that dates from the early 1990s. It's got an interesting hero who acquires a cool woman sidekick in the course of the film, a villain who gives other fantasy film bad guys a run for their money, and hints at a much large, extremely interesting cosmololgy than we only get a small glimpse at in this film.

Actually, getting a small glimpse of something bigger is the way I feel about the whole movie. It feels like it should have been at least 30-45 minutes longer, and with with the scant development that's given to a number of concepts and charactes, it could easily have supported the additional running time. If all the skeletons of nifty ideas and characters that appear in movie had been more fully fleshed out, this could have been a great movie. As it is, it's okay, with decent acting and good special effects. It's worth checking out, particularly if you like movies and books like "Harry Potter" or "The Dresden Files".

Nothing says Christmas like demons, hellborne toys and killer puppets

Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys (2004)
Starring: Corey Feldman, Danielle Keaton, Vanessa Angel, Silva Suvadova, Nikolai Sotirov and Anton Falk
Director: Ted Nicolaou
Producers: Charles Band, Jeff Franklin, Bob Perkis and Jörg Westerkamp
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Eccentric inventor and toymaker Robert Toulon (Feldman) and his teenaged daugther Alexandra (Keaton) recreate the secret formula that can bring inanimate objects to life, and they use it to revive some of the puppet's created by Robet's grand-uncle Andre Toulon--Blade, Pinhead, Jester, and Six-shooter. It's a good thing they do, because the sinister president Erica Sharpe (Angel) of Sharpe Toys has been selling demon-possessed toys which will come to life Christmas morning and kill millions of Americans, sacrificing their souls to the demonlord Bael (Falk) and elevating Erica to ruler of Earth. Only the Toulons and the magic puppets can stop them... if they survive long enough.


"Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys" is one of the best movies to come out of the Sci-Fi Channel's original programming department. Yes, it's goofy and illogical and the special effects won't be winning any awards, but it's a fun and funny movie.

Although the creator of both the Demonic Toys and the Puppet Master concepts, Richard Band, had no direct part in the creation of this film, the presence of an old-time Full Moon script-writer (C. Courtney Joyner) and a director who worked on a number of Full Moon features (Ted Nicolaou) the spirit of the original movies is alive and well in this one. In fact, it's better than much of what Band has been producing and directing lately.

Corey Feldman in particular is great fun as the gruff grand-nephew and last male decendent of the Toulon line, and teenaged actress Danielle Keaton gives a nice performance as a cute and well-mannered kid who patiently puts up with the dad's weird nature. The father/daughter relationships in this movie is one of the things that makes it such an interesting film, particuarly when the Toulons are considered in the light of the relationship that Erica Sharpe must have had with her father. There's nothing deep here--like most films from the brain-trust that is/was the Full Moon gang, the emphasis is on gags, gimmicks and gore rather than characterization--but it's enough to make us interested in the characters, enough to make us care.

If you're looking for an unusual movie to mark the Christmas season, "Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys" could be the one to reach for. There might be a few too many fart jokes and exploding eyeballs for grandma's sensibilities, but I think most kids will get a kick out of it. (This might make a good capstone for a "Puppet Master"/"Demonic Toys" film festival, too. Start off with "Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge", go to "Demonic Toys", and then wrap it up with this film.)

'The Dead Hate the Living' is hit and miss

The Dead Hate the Living (2000)
Starring: Eric Clawson, Jamie Donahue, Brett Beardslee, Benjamin P. Morris, Wendy Speake, and Matt Stephens
Director: Dave Parker
Producers: Charles Band and Kirk Edward Hansen
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

A bunch of amateurs shooting a horror movie in an abandoned hospital stumble upon an experiment by a mad scientist (Stephens) who was trying to merge this dimension with one inhabited by zombies. Needless to say, they mess around, and soon they are living their zombie movie, as freakish undead stalk and add them to their ranks, one by one.


"The Dead Hate the Living" is another one of those tongue-in-cheek, third-wall horror movies that's full of in-jokes and references to other horror films. It's a movie with geeks as the main characters, and it's targeted (I imagine) primarily at movie geeks. Although, frankly, I found the director (Eric Clawson) and his sidekick/special effects-and-makeup-guy (Brett Beardslee) to be almost immediately unsympathetic because of the way they rolled their eyes when their lead actor (Benjamin P. Morris) didn't know who Dick Miller and some other B-movie actor was. I suspect the writer/director of the film was trying to make identify with and like these two, who are the film's heroes after all, because of their Geekier-Than-Thou attitudes... but, frankly, I've always been annoyed by people like that. Being obsessed with trivia does not make someone talented or capable.

That annoyance aside, I enjoyed many aspects of this film. The story, while hardly original, was fun... and it was funny where it was supposed to be funny, and creepy where it was supposed to be creepy. (Although, in some ways. the film-within-the-film seems like it would be far more horrific than what we actually get.)

The film's fatal flaw, however, is that it was probably made by inexperienced people from the actors through to the director. While the acting is better than what is found in many low-budget films of this caliber, the performers constantly dutifully wait for the other people in a scene to finish their lines before they start their own; even in situations where they're being chased by monsters, the characters very politely wait for the other person to finish what they're saying before they start talking. While the dialogue has a realistic sound to it, the way it's delivered doesn't seem realistic, and it gives each and every scene a sluggish pace.

(There are also a couple of elements that I didn't quite care for, such as why the actors look like their zombie make-up when they become living dead, and where all those zombies in the "Hammer Films Graveyard" set come from. Both of those are nonsensical elements that detracted rather than added to the film. And I'm not even going to comment on the illogic and just plain idiocy that leads to the zombies being unleashed upon the unsuspecting film crew. Suffice to say, it makes the characters from "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things" look like Nobel Prize winners. )

In the hands of a more experienced director, or perhaps with some more rehersal time for the actors, I think this film could have been a pretty decent little zombie movie. As it is, it's a little too weak to go out of your way for.

No, not THOSE 'Vampire Journals'

The Vampire Journals (1997)
Starring: David Gunn, Jonathon Morris, Kristen Cerre, Ilinca Goia, and Starr Andreeff
Director: Ted Nicolaou
Producers: Charles Band, Oana Paunescu and Vlad Paunescu
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A vampire who is dedicated to wiping out his (Gunn) own kind tries to save a young musician (Cerre) from the vampire king who wants to make her his slave (Morris)

"The Vampire Journals" is another stylish film from Ted Nicolaou, who once again proves that he can capture that goth vampire style like no one else. It's not quite up to the standards he set in the three "Subspecies" films (to which a passing reference is made when the evil vampire lord Ash states that he inherited his underground maze of tunnels from Radu of Transylvania), but manages to put the mood and atmosphere that most "World of Darkness" Storytellers were shooting for Back in the Day. If you're still into that stuff and still running White Wolf's roleplaying game, you need to check this movie out. (If you're over 17. It's rated R for a number of reasons... most of them involving naked boobies.)

Unfortunately, aside from the neat crumbling scenery of Bucharest and the dream-like cinematography, there's not much else to cheer about with the film. The acting is okay but nothing spectacular and the story moves with glacial slowness for the film's first 45 minutes. The second half is a little better, but by then many viewers will have nodded off from boredom. (Although fans of gothy-type material will undoubtedly be fascinated by the self-pitying and over-justifying hero vampire Zachary, the evil jerkwad villainous vampire Ash, and the beautiful young pianist trapped between them.)

'Ragdoll' brings magic of the killing kind to the screen

Ragdoll (1999)
Starring: Russell Richardson, Jennia Watson, Freda Payne, Bill Davis and Tarnell Poindexter
Director: Ted Nicolaou
Producers: Charles Band and Kirk Edward Hanson
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Young up-and-coming musician Kwame (Richardson) turns to his grandmother's book of voodoo spells to get revenge after New Orleans crimelord Big Pere (Davis) has her beaten to the point she's in a coma. Kwame inadvertently unleashes uncontrollable killing magic--in the form of a ragdoll--that not only goes after Big Pere's gang but also those whom Kwame loves.


"Ragdoll" is a fun little flick that features all the "typical" Full Moon elements, including a killer puppet. If you enjoy that special atmosphere that hovers around most of the best features that have the name Charles Band in the production credits, you're bound to enjoy this movie. In fact, it may represent the last gasp of Band's Golden Age as far as the film's he's helmed. Although the VERY low budget is evident throughout the film, the magic is present to a degree that we won't see again until "Doll Graveyard" (and, even there, it's stronger in this film). Of course, it may also be that the film ends up as strong as it is because it is helmed by one of the most talented editors and directors who has worked with Band, Ted Nicolaou.

The film succeeds primarily due to strong performances from Russell Richardson (the handsome lead, playing Kawme), Jennia Watson (the very attractive love interest, Teesha) and Freda Payne (the target of the gangster attack that triggers the events of the film and whose skill with sorcery will be Kwamie's and Teesha's only chance of survival). Their acting talents go a long way to making us buy into the danger and threatening nature of the killer puppet in this movie, which isn't anywhere as impressive as the Demonic Toys or Andre Toulon's puppets, and which sounds like a cat that's either angry or in heat. The film's climax also wouldn't be anywhere near as suspenseful if not for the skills of these three actors.

There were only two things that got in the way of this film rating perhaps a point higher that I am currently assigning it.

First, the film could have done with a little more of a denouement than it has, or perhaps a brief reappearance of the Shadow Man, the devil-figure with whom Kwame makes the deal that unleashes the "killing magic"; his take on the turn of events would have been interesting. I like the fact the movie ends when it's over--with no "surprise shock ending" or the likes tacked on--but a little more of a wrap up would still have been preferable.

Second, for a film with a running time that barely breaks 80 minutes, a lot of tme is taken up by acts performing songs. There are three rap songs and two pop/soul tunes of mediocre quality included in the film, and, knowing Charles Band's love of using movies as promotional vehicles for other ventures (and other ventures as promotional vehicles for his movies), they are undoubtedly there in what was a failed attempt at branching out into a Full Moon pop music venture. (I suspect "The Horrible Dr. Bones" and "Blood Dolls" were part of that same scheme.)

An over-abundance of average pop music aside, "Ragdoll" is a fun flick that should prove entertaining, especially if you add it to the line-up of a Bad Movie Night.

'Seedpeople' is sci-fi horror to watch with kids

Seedpeople (aka "Dark Forest") (1992)
Starring: Sam Hennings, Bernard Kates, Andrea Roth, Holly Fields and Brad Yates
Director: Peter Manoogian
Producers: Charles Band and Anne Kelly
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A geologist (Hennings) returns to the tiny town where he grew up, hoping to locate the legendary meteor it is named after. But the ill feelings he stirs up on the part of an ex-girlfriend (Roth) and the deputy sheriff who is her current beau (Yates) pale in comparison the fact that extra-terrastial lifeforms are taking over the hamlet's citizens and preparing for a full-scale invasion of Earth.


"Seedpeople" is not a movie you want to see if you've seen any version of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers", any version of the "The Thing" or even "Horror Express". You probably also want to pass on the film if you have read any Stephen King except perhaps "On Writing". You will find yourself thinking of other movies and books that did what this film tries to do so very much better.

You will also realize that those stories usually have points beyond "alien plant-monsters take over a tiny town", something that this film does not.

A somewhat bigger problem is the casting of 16-year-old Holly Fields as Kim, a girl who is 12-13 years old. Fields is obviously older than the part she's playing, which leads you with the impression that Kim, who is supposed to be an intelligent, tomboyish kid is retarded. There aren't many older teens who can pass successfully as pre-teens like they were hoping to do here.

However, if you are looking for a scary movie you can safely watch with the 11-14 year olds, this is the film to check out. Yes, there's some violence and a little blood as alien monsters chew on victim's faces, but it IS a scary movie after all! Kids will probably not be familiar with the superior sources this film was inspired by, and it's not as intense as those so it's something that they will be able to see without too many nightmares. (Unless they are extra-ordinarily sensitive. And if there THAT sensitive, then you need to revisit your parenting class and let the kid out of the closet more often.)
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