'End of the World' shouldn't be seen until after the end of the world

End of the World (1977)
Starring: Kirk Scott, Sue Lyon, Christopher Lee, Liz Ross, and Dean Jagger
Director: John Hayes
Producer: Charles Band
Rating: One of Ten Stars

Take my advice: If you fully expect the world to end on 12/21/2012, then you want to wait to see this movie until 12/22/2012. You wouldn't want to waste your precious few remaining moments on this Earth with a film as awful as this.

In "End of the World", a young scientist (Scott) receives transmissions from space that warn of impending doom. He and his very gorgeous wife (Lyon) start to investigate... um... something. They eventually run into some aliens who want to return to their utopian homeworld, but who want to destroy the Earth before they do. And what does this have to do with the priest who causes coffeemakers to explode (Lee) and the nun he lives with at an isolated hacienda? Sit through all the padding and you'll find out.

The film unfolds as if someone took what was a script for a 30-minute "Outer Limits" episode and stretched it to 88 minutes with with establishing shots that go on forever, and scene after scene after scene of the main characters wandering about, driving around, or sitting around not doing much of anything. The end result is so mindnumblingly boring that if there even is a point to the film, you'll be in too deep a stupor to care.


There are three worthwhile moments in this film: The first scene of the movie, the sequence where the aliens are revealed, and the movie's eerie climax where our scientist heroes watch the world come to an end on dozens of TV monitors. However, these moments are nowhere near exciting enough to warrant sitting through the boring, badly acted crap that separates them.

Unless you've dedicated yourself to seeing every movie Christopher Lee has appeared in, or you want to see what Lolita looked like 15 years later and without a lollipop, you'll do yourself a favor by skipping "End of the World". Even if you decide you MUST see this misbegotten excuse for a movie, make sure you get it in the 50-movie collection "Nightmare Worlds" . At least that way, you'll get your money's worth via the other films the set.

Oh the other hand, maybe this is THE film to watch as the world ends. If you time it just right, when the exact moment the world ends rolls around--12:21 (AM? PM?) or 20:12 (if the genius Mayans operated on Zulu time)--you will be bored into a coma when the end comes so you won't suffer. Although... there are 24 time zones. Which ones did the genius Mayans use? And did they take Daylight Savings Time into account? How is a body to prepare when these questions remain unanswered?!

A Tourist Trap Worth Falling Into

Tourist Trap (1979)
Starring: Chuck Connors, Jocelyn Jones, Tanya Roberts, Jon Van Nyss, Robin Sherwood, Keith McDermott and Dawn Jeffory
Director: David Schmoeller
Producers: Leonard Baker, Charles Band and J. Larry Carroll
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

Five friends on a road-trip have car trouble near a closed wax museum--Slausen's Lost Oasis--off an old highway. When they fail to heed the warnings of the owner, Mr. Slausen (Connors), they find themselves stalked by a masked madman and strangely animated wax figures and manniquins. Will any of them survive the night and learn the secret of Slausen's Lost Oasis?


"Tourist Trap" is a strange little horror movie that wears its low-budget status like a badge of honor. There isn't a frame that doesn't reek of cheapness, the script is halfbaked and full of painfully repetative dialogue (much of which I hope was ad-libbed, because if it wasn't, the writer was paid entirely too much for his work), and a number of potentially horrorific scenes start to dissolve into overwrought and foolish, because the director either didn't know when enough was enough, or was trying to pad the running time.

However, there is an aura of creepiness that pervades the entire film that makes it far more scary than it should be. From the mysterious happenings at an abandoned gas station during the film's opening scenes, to characters being overwhelmed by chattering manniquins, through a very disturbing suffucation scene, and to the very final image before the end credits role, this film will creep out the attentive viewer.

Some of the creepiness arises from the way film is made up of elements that co-exist uneasily; it has the look and feel of a grubby, low-budget slasherfilm, but it is evident early on that there's more to the dangers of Slausen's Lost Oasis than a run-of-the-mill madman. Other chills grow from Chuck Connors' purposefully erratic performance, and from an effective performance by Jocelyn Jones, who's Good Girl character emerges as the villain's favorite victim. (Although, frankly, I had much more fun watching Tanya Roberts jiggle around in her very short cut-offs and tubetop!)

Although "Tourist Trap" is a perfectly serviceable horror film, it is also a perfect entry for a Bad Movie Night. The animated wax figures, the dimwitted behavior of the characters who fall victim to the maniac, and some of the film's Big Reveals, are all perfect fodder for movie fans who like to mock films as they unfold.

(By the way, the 2005 remake of "House of Wax" had alot more in common with this film than it did with either of the two earlier chillers by that title. If you liked that film, you'll probably get a kick out of this one, too.)