Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Which house? Witchouse!

Witchouse (1999)
Starring: Matt Raferty, Monica Serene Garnic, and Ashley McKinney
Director: Jack Reed
Producers: Charles Band, Kirk Edward Hansen and Vlad Paunescu
Rating: One of Ten Stars

I probably should have know better than to bother with a film that can't spell it's own title in a sensible fashion. How is "Witchouse" to be pronouned anyway? What does it mean?

Is it "Witch Ouse"? "Wit Chouse"? Or could no one at Full Moon Productions or Castel Films properly spell "Witch House"? (Maybe Castel Films, the company co-producing the picture, is actually Castle Films?)

"Witchouse" is the tale of the final night on Earth an unlikable group of college-age teens (who run the cliche gamut from stoner dude and rocker chick, to oversexed jock and cheerleader, to the shy dork who rises to the challenge and unexpectedly to eventually save the day. They have been invited to a party at the home of their strange high school friend Elizabeth. Turns out, she is the decendent of a witch who was burned at the stake by the ancestors of her guests, and that she has decided it's time for revenge and a little demon summoning.

Everything that follows is as predictable as a paint-by-numbers picture of dogs playing poker, made worse by bad acting and an even worse script. (What's truly shocking is that this awful movie spawned at least three sequels!)

"Witchouse" wishes it was "Demons " or "April Fool's Day," but the script, the actors, and the special effects are so bad that it is closer in nature to "The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave" or "Plan Nine From Outer Space."

There is really nothing here to recommend this film for anything but use as a doorstop.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for sharing your opinion. I love seeing what fellow fans have to say!